Forever Young
by spn22
Summary: Dean is woken in the night by a concerned Castiel. Something is wrong with Sam- very wrong.
1. I had the dream again

_A new story_

_I still don't own Supernatural :(_

* * *

Dean stumbled into bed. Sam had made his own way after only a shot of whiskey and a couple of slices of toast. Dean had stayed up but now the exhaustion was setting in and a combination of tired limbs and too many drinks forced him to curl up into what looked like an uncomfortable position. Yet Dean sighed happily. Bed. Screw conciousness.

A knock at the door.

Dean made an incoherent noise into his pillow.

Another knock.

"Oh, shit." Dean raised himself up onto his elbows and sighed heavily.

"Come in"

Castiel stood at the door, looking down at his shoes.

Dean resisted the urge to yell. "Well?"

"I thought it polite to knock."

"You thought right, Cas."

"Good."

Dean stared at him. "What's the problem, Cas?" His voiced raised in annoyance.

"Well...I don't know...I don't quite know how to...deal with him. I'm not...aware of the protocol."

"Deal with who? What protocol?"

"Sam."

Dean continued to stare at Castiel, his eyebrows raised.

"With Sam?"

"He's...he's upset."

"Upset? Why? He was fine when he went to bed."

"He said, well, it was hard to tell, he was crying so hard."

"Crying?" Dean sat up a bit straighter. "God, what's happened?"

"Well, he said he was...scared."

Dean shook himself slightly. "Scared? What is he scared of?"

Castiel shifted from foot to foot.

"He said, well, he was scared that something was going to hurt him."

By this point Dean had slipped a on. Maybe Sam had had more to drink then he realised...because all of this sounded so bizarre.

"Right, okay. Thanks Cas. I'll go and see him. He's probably just had one too many. He was always an emotional drunk."

Castiel looked extremely confused by this comment but didn't say anything.

Dean heaved himself out of bed, preparing himself to deal with his younger brother. Part of him enjoyed these moments. Comforting his drunken brother was more normal than saving his life. That said, it was also rare for Sam to be drunker than he was.

* * *

Dean reached Sam's room and knocked twice.

"Sammy? Sam? You okay?"

He pressed his ear against the door. Cas was right. He could hear sobbing. Trying to hide his concern, Dean slowly opened the door into the darkened bedroom.

"Sam?"

"Dean? Dean!"

Dean's blood ran cold. His brothers voice sounded panicked and...young. So young.

He switched on the bedside light and almost yelled.

Sam stared back at him. His eyes wide, tears dropping down his red face, his hands wrung together.

"Dean...I had...I had the dream again."

Dean backed against the door.

Sam looked no older than ten.

* * *

_Reviews make me :) _


	2. I'm scared

_Thank you for your reviews...especially .777 who is so lovely at reviewing :)_

_Don't own Supernatural_

* * *

"Sammy?"

"Dean..." Sam's face crumpled. "Dean...I'm scared."

Big fat tears were rolling down Sam's face.

Dean felt sick. What the hell was going on? Every natural part of him wanted to scoop Sam up in his arms...like he used to...but this couldn't be real. How the hell could this be real?

"Dad...Dad has gone again hasn't he?"

Dean hesitated. Sam seemed unalarmed by his adult appearance. So if Sam was, at a guess, ten...that must make Dean, in Sam's eyes, about fourteen.

Whatever the hell was happening here-and Dean was going to find out- Sam was ten years old...and scared.

Dean went and sat beside Sam on the bed. Sam automatically crawled onto Dean's knee.

"Yeah, Sammy. He's gone away for a few days."

"Saving people?"

"Sure. Saving people."

"...But..." Sam buried his head into Dean's chest. "I need him here, Dean...cos..cos..I'm scared. The dream..."

"Is just a dream, Sammy." Dean placed his arms around his little brother's shaking body " Was it the one about the monster in the hallway?"

Sam nodded, his chin wobbling.

Dean pulled away and put his hand on Sam's chin.

"If any monster came anywhere near you, Sammy. Who would protect you? Always?"

Sam smiled...slightly. "You"

"Who are monsters scared of?"

"You"

"And who will always be here to protect you?"

"You."

Dean felt shocked that tears were forming in his eyes. The old ritual. When it worked. When Sam believed it.

"That's right, buddy."

Sam nodded and pulled away. He had stopped shaking but the pain, beyond any kind of pain a young boy should feel, was still in his eyes. Dean's stomach turned.

"Hey, Sammy. Want to stay up late with me tonight?"

The first real smile appeared on Sam's face. He nodded.

"Okay." Dean smiled. "Come on then."

Sam wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Of course. The days when he used to carry Sam everywhere when he was afraid.

Dean stood up, his brother safe in his arms. Content. For now.

* * *

"Buddy, you go and put something on TV. Something nice. I'll be with you in a second, okay?"

Sam nodded and Dean gently put him on the floor. He watched Sam run, barefoot, into the sitting room.

Dean paced into the kitchen where Castiel stood.

"Okay. Cas. What the _hell _is going on?"

Cas cringed at Dean's anger but glanced up at him.

"Dean. This could be hard to explain..."

"Try!" Dean glanced at the sitting room and lowered his voice. "Why is Sam...a kid?!"

"Dean..." Castiel frowned. "I think your prayers were answered."

"What?!"

"Dean...I know what you want the most in life."

Dean raised his eyebrows at Castiel.

"What?" he asked uncertainly.

Castiel hesitated and then spoke.

"Dean, you want everything to be okay for Sam. You want to go back to the days when a hug, a few perfect lies could make Sam feel safe. Take his fears away. Where staying up all night with his big brother watching TV could make Sam happy. Where you were his hero and he truly believed that you could solve anything. Where he was small enough to carry and protect. Where you could keep tabs on him, always."

Dean looked at Castiel, scared by how much he could know.

"Dean...it looks like your prayers have been answered."

* * *

_Reviews make me :)_


	3. Soda and cake

_Thank you for the reviews :) I'm so sorry that I've not updated for so long. I've started uni and the work load has been hard core :( Still, I thought I'd give you a mini update to say thanks and that I've not forgotten about the story! :) _

_I do not own Supernatural._

_Pretty please review!_

* * *

"Say that again. Slowly."

Castiel frowned at him. He then repeated, very slowly, words he had already spoken.

"Dean... it looks like your prayers have been answered."

"My prayers?! What goddamn prayers?"

"Your innermost desires. Like I said."

They both stared at each other, Dean completely lost for words.

"Dean?"

Dean jerked at the young voice from the other room.

"Dean, Dean can I watch Die Hard?"

Dean glanced at Castiel, his eyes searching for answers.

"Deeeean?"

"Urm." Dean moved towards the door "Urm, sure buddy. Yeah. Put it on. I'll be through in a minute."

"Yessss!"

Dean paced the kitchen. He looked at Castiel, who was frowning.

"What, Cas?!"

"Is that the film you were watching the other night, Dean?"

"Yeah, so?"

"I'm not sure it's appropriate viewing for a child. So many unnecessary profanities."

"Seriously, Cas? You think my main concern right now is that Sam might learn a 'naughty word'?"

Castiel shrugged. "Well, it would be a shame. Such a young boy."

Dean opened his mouth but was quickly interrupted. "Deaaaaan? Can we have soda and cake?"

"Soda and cake." Dean paced the room again. "Soda and cake?!" He looked at Castiel. "What the hell am I supposed to do?!"

Castiel shrugged helplessly. "Give him soda and cake?"

Dean screamed in frustration. "That's what I used to give him... soda and cake was... well, it was our little secret whenever Dad went on a hunt. He saw it as rebelling. It cheered him up." Dean remained silent for a second and then said softly. "Does he remember being old? Is this... is this really kid Sammy?"

"Yes." Cas looked straight faced at Dean. "I mean, yes, he is a kid but no... he has no memories beyond his current age."

"And me?"

"You're his big brother." Cas said simply. "His hero. Just like you wanted."

"And how long... how long will he be like this?"

Castiel gave an apologetic shrug. Dean swore under his breath.

"Deaaaaaan!"

"Buddy, one minute!" Dean yelled, his patience almost failing. He turned back to Cas. "Who the hell does he think _you _are?"

Cas gave a small smile. "Uncle Cas."

"Unc...Uncle freaking Cas?!"

"It seemed the logical explanation. He accepted it quickly. I think..." Cas's small smile grew larger. "I think he likes me."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Don't flatter yourself. Our Dad introduced us to lots of 'uncles' that Sammy quickly fell in love with. One even turned out to be a vampire."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Dean ignored Castiel's crestfallen look. "So now... how do we get Sam back?"


	4. Peace

_Another update for you. Again, sorry it's short! I will finish the story, I promise :)_

_Reviews make me :)_

_I do not own Supernatural_

* * *

Sam grinned at the screen. He loved Die Hard. Dean always said that Dad was like John McClaine. During a careers day at school a curious teacher had persisted that Sam elaborate that his Dad 'saved people.' Was he a doctor? She had asked. A fireman? A soldier? Finally Sam had shrugged and said that he was just like John McClaine. The whole class had laughed at him. He had gone home and cried that night. Dean had promised that he would beat up every last one of them. Sam had had to beg Dean not to fulfill the promise.

"Deaaaan!" Sam yelled impatiently, his eyes still on the screen. "Deeeeean!"

"Sam!" Dean flung the door open, making Sam jump and give a little squeak. "For crying out loud Sammy, shut up. I heard you the first time."

"You're missing the film!" Sam jumped up on down on the sofa. "You _love_ this film!"

"Dude, I can recite the whole film. Missing a few minutes isn't going to hurt me."

Sam looked momentarily hurt and Dean sighed.

"Okay. Budge up, Sasquatch."

Sam grinned and bounced up a place.

"Popcorn Dean? You said there would be popcorn!"

Dean sighed. "Yeah...'Uncle Cas' is bringing it in a minute."

"Is he watching Die Hard with us?"

"Hell, no!" Dean shuddered. "I don't want the fun sucked out of another movie. He's already ruined Busty Babes 2 for me."

"Busty Babes 2?" Sam looked at Dean, his face one of innocence and confusion.

_He's ten. Remember he's ten. _

"Doesn't matter Sammy."

"Who is Uncle Cas, Dean?"

Dean let out a small laugh. "Just a friend."

"A friend of Dad's?"

"No." Dean smiled at his brother. "A friend of ours."

"Oh." Another car exploded on the screen. "Booooom!" Sam yelled.

Dean grinned. "Cheered up, pal?"

Sam nodded, his smile filling his whole face.

Dean couldn't help but smile back. Cas was right. He did miss these days. When all the pain that Sam was feeling could be taken away by a late night film night with his big brother. That whatever he said would be believed by his little brother. That anything he did, Sam would trust. Dean felt so much love for his little brother in that moment that he could truly cry.

"C'mere you!" Dean grabbed Sam, lifting him over his shoulder.

"Dean!" Sam screamed in shocked laughter. "Dean, put me down!"

"What did you say, Sam? Spin you round?"

"No! Put me down!"

"Okay, spin you round You got it, man."

Dean spun round whilst Sam joyfully laughed in his ear. Dean joined in the laughter, unaware that Castiel had appeared in the doorway. The pair collapsed back onto the sofa, Sam crawling out from behind Dean and throwing his arms around Dean's neck.

"I love you, Dean."

Dean's throat contracted slightly as he returned the hug.

"I love you too, Sammy."

Sam stayed on Dean's lap, his arms still around his neck as he adjusted so he could see the TV.

Cas silently put the bowl on the table and let himself out of the room. He had news for Dean... but it could wait. For now, he would leave the brothers. Leave them in peace for a night. God knows they deserved it.


	5. Pain

_Thank you all you lovely people for your reviews :) Have a little update- just because I'm still BUZZING from that Supernatural musical! :P_

_I do not own Supernatural._

* * *

Cas walked into the room, the light had just started to creep through the curtains. He glanced at the sofa and shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, unsure of how to interrupt the scene before him.

Sam's head was on Dean's lap, his arms and legs curled up in front of him. Dean had obviously placed the cover over the top of him. Dean was also asleep, one arm around Sam's back and the other balancing his forehead. The television was still on.

Castiel coughed softly. Dean was awake in an instant, his head jerking up his other hand instinctively covering Sam's chest.

"Dean?"

Dean looked up and jumped slightly at Cas, causing Sam to stir.

"Shh...it's okay buddy." Dean gently placed Sam's head on the sofa.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked sleepily.

"Just into the kitchen." Dean said quietly. "I need to talk to Uncle Cas. Go back to sleep, Sammy."

* * *

"Okay, Cas. Hit me."

Cas looked confused and glanced at his hand. Dean rolled his eyes.

"I'm guessing you have some news for me." Dean said patiently.

"Oh, right. Yes. Correct. You have a choice, Dean."

"A choice?"

"Yes. A simple reversal procedure. It has to be done within 24 hours of the transformation taking place."

Dean laughed in relief, slapping Cas on the back.

"Alright, we're golden, Cas! Nice one!"

Cas looked at Dean. "Are you sure?"

"Am I sure?" Dean shook his head and laughed. "Of course I'm sure! I can't keep Sam as a permanent ten year old. It wouldn't be fair."

"Wouldn't it?"

"Quit asking me rhetorical questions! Of course it wouldn't be fair."

"I saw you last night Dean. Both of you. You looked...happy."

"Yeah! Well..." Dean trailed off, momentarily caught out by admitting that last night had indeed been the happiest he'd been in a long time. In fact, it was the happiest he'd seen Sam too.

"Can you do it to him, Dean? Put him through the pain... that you know is coming."

"Cas..." Dean trailed off as he watched Castiel's eyes widen.

"Dean...what pain?"

Dean shut his eyes. "Shit." he breathed. Turning round, he looked down at his little brother, his face full of confusion and fear.


	6. I need you to be brave

_Another small update- sorry it's not longer, so busy at the moment! I'll try and write some more over Christmas. Hope you enjoy and thank you so much for the reviews :) _

_I do not own Supernatural_

* * *

"Sammy..."

"Dean." Sam's chin was wobbling but his eyes stayed firm. "What did you mean...

"Sam..." Dean looked desperately at Cas who stared back blankly.

Dean moved towards Sam, trying to take his hand. Sam slapped it away.

"Sam, listen..."

"No! Dean, you always tell me that, that...it will all be okay. I heard you just now! I'm not a baby, tell me what's going on! The truth!"

Dean felt the same thud in his stomach that he always used to have whenever Sam asked him questions. He had forgotten how difficult it was to get him to stop. To go back to being a kid. He realised, shocked, that this was something he had always resented his father for. Their Dad was never here to deal with the difficult questions that Sam inevitably asked; whether it be about growing up or the monsters around the corner. Even if their Dad did make a rare appearance, it was always Dean that Sam ran to. Always Dean that had to come up with more and more lies to keep his baby brother happy.

Dean went to open his mouth and then looked at his brother. His poor, brave little brother. His chin was wobbling and he was angrily trying to wipe his tears away and hide his face.

"Sammy." Dean kept his voice soft and knelt down to the floor. "Sammy...it's okay to cry."

"N..no." Sam hiccuped. "D..Dad says I...I can't cry. I'm too old to cry."

"Sam..." Dean knelt down. Sam shouldn't be afraid to cry. He was a kid. A baby, really. "Sammy, c'mere."

Dean held his arms open. Sam took a step back but Dean could see him wavering. Then wordlessly, Sam ran into his arms, burying his face into Dean's shoulder. He could hear Sam's sobs, feel Sam nestle further into his arms.

"Please." Sam's voice was barely audible. "Please, Dean. I'm scared. Tell me what's happening. Please."

Dean made a quick decision and gently untangled Sam from his arms. He held onto Sam's shoulders. He gave a sad smile and moved a strand of hair out of Sam's eyes.

"Okay, Sammy. Okay. I'm going to tell you the truth. I need you to be brave. Like I know you are... okay?"


	7. It's me

_Another update for you :) _

_Please review they make me :)_

_I do not own Supernatural_

* * *

"Okay, Sammy. Okay. I'm going to tell you the truth. I need you to be brave. Like I know you are... okay?"

Sam nodded, his eyes filled with tears and fear.

"Come with me, Sam." Sam took Dean's hand and Dean looked over his shoulder firmly. "Uncle Cas can wait here."

Cas stopped following the two and stood uncertainly in the kitchen.

* * *

"Sit down, Sammy."

Sam let go of Dean's hand and perched on the end of the sofa. Dean knelt on the floor, opposite Sam and looked into his brother's eyes, desperately wishing that he could tell Sam what he wanted to hear.

Sammy deserved the truth.

"Sam. I'm from the future."

Sam's face broke into a smile.

"Are we playing Back to the Future again?"

Dean gave a sad smile. "No, buddy. I'm telling you the truth."

Sam's face fell into a confused look.

"But...but you're Dean. My brother. I know it's you."

"Yeah, pal. It's me. I promise you that... but... it's an older version of me."

Sam shook his head.

"But...I...but..."

"Sammy, I know this is a lot to take in. Just listen and I'll try to make it clear. Okay?"

Sam nodded his head uncertainly and Dean noticed that he shifted further away from Dean.

"Sam...you don't need to be scared. It's me. It's Dean. I would never, ever hurt you. You know that."

Sam looked at him, scared, waiting for answers.

"Okay. It _is _me Sammy. Something strange happened. I come from a time when you are in your late twenties. I went to bed one night and I woke up and you were small again."

Sam looked back at him wide-eyed.

"I know it sounds mad, Sam. Our whole lives are mad. I want to tell you that we both grow up and it's all fine... but our lives... they are insane."

"But...but I don't remember being old..."

"I know buddy. It's okay. Uncle Cas in the kitchen? He's an angel. He's going to make you big again. It's all going to be okay."

Sam stood up, his face crumpling.

"No."

"What?"

"No! No, no, no! You're not my brother. Stay away. STAY AWAY!"

With that, Sam dodged Dean's arms and ran out of the room.

Dean ran a hand over his face and sighed. Cas stood in the doorway.

"So." Cas's face was perfectly straight. "Did he take it well?"


	8. Test Me

_I'm on a roll tonight! Please keep your lovely reviews coming, they make my day! Hope you keep enjoying the story- few more chapters to go!_

_I do not own Supernatural_

* * *

Dean sat on the sofa and Cas, after hesitating, sat down next to him.

"Why is he upset?"

Dean stared at Cas for a second.

"Why do you _think_ he's upset, Cas?"

Cas gave a one shoulder shrug.

"Cas, the things I have to tell him... nobody should have to hear. Let alone a ten-year-old who has a life that is already screwed up enough."

Cas nodded, trying to understand.

"So...what are you going to do now?"

Dean stood up. "What I always do."

"Which is?"

"Go after him."

* * *

Dean found Sam lying on his bed, head buried in his pillow, his shoulders moving up and down to show he was crying.

"Sam?"

Sam's head sprang up and he pulled his legs into his chest.

"Stay away! Where's my brother?"

Dean put his hands up.

"I won't come any closer, Sammy. But I told you. It's me. I swear."

Sam looked at Dean closely.

"My brother wouldn't make me go through pain. I heard you and that...that angel thingy talking. "

Dean sighed and sat down.

"Sammy...trust me. If I could have doubled the amount of pain for me so that you didn't have to feel it...I would have done."

"What...what is going to happen to me?"

Dean breathed in and closed his eyes.

"Sam...c'mere."

Sam hesitated.

"Sammy... ask me any question. Test me. I know you better than you know yourself. It's me."

Sam looked up, his eyebrow raised.

"What's my favourite dinner?"

"Pasta and cheese. You always make me put the cheese on straight away so that it melts the way you like it."

"Favourite drink?"

"Orange juice with lemonade to make it fizzy. Although when you're a bit older it's an inc cold beer."

Sam looked confused by this but carried on.

"What's my favourite film?"

"You tell Dad it's Planet of the Apes. I know it's really Die Hard."

"What's my favourite lesson?"

"English. You like writing stories."

"What's my..."

"Okay, okay, Sammy. How much more do you have to hear? Your favourite shirt is the one I gave you when I outgrew it. The blue one with white stripes. You pretend to like riding shotgun with Dad but actually you like it in the back where you can stretch out your legs. You have nightmares. Sometimes you like to come downstairs with me because you can't get back to sleep..."

"Dean?" Sam's chin wobbled.

Dean smiled.

"Who else would I be , Sammy?"

Sam leapt off the bed and flung his arms around his brother. Dean held onto him tight.

"Dean...what's happening?"

Dean rubbed Sam's back. "Weird things, Sammy. But I'm here. I'll always be here. I'll explain everything...and I'll sort it. I promise."

Sam buried his head into Dean's chest. "I know, Dean. I know you will."

"Trust me, bud?"

"I trust you."


	9. Photographs

_Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews :) Have another update!_

_I do not own Supernatural_

* * *

"Wow!"

Sam was staring hungrily at the photos Dean had given him.

"Ha!" Sam held up one of him and Dean. "I'm taller than you!"

Dean took the photo. "Yeah. You were nightmare to buy clothes for. From about the age of twelve you didn't stop growing."

Sam flipped through the rest of the photos.

"Hey, that's Mom and Dad. I've seen this picture before."

"Yeah. I've had it a while."

"What does Dad looks like now? Do you have any pictures?"

Dean's stomach turned and he took the photos from Sam. "None on me, Sam. Sorry"

"Oh." Sam peered at him. "We do... we do still talk to Dad...don't we?"

Dean looked away. "Sure. Sure we do."

"And he's okay?"

Sam couldn't quite speak but nodded once.

"What's your wife like?"

Dean choked on his drink.

"Wife?!"

"Yeah. Didn't you say you were in your thirties?"

"So? There is no rule about when you get married, Sammy."

"But...but all the girls are always trying to get near you at school. I've seen them."

Dean gave a small laugh. "Yeah, well. With... my job it's kind of hard to settle down, Sammy."

"Who do you live with? Or are you by yourself?"

"No. I live with you."

"Really? Don't I have a girlfriend either?"

"Urm...no."

"Good! I hate girls."

"You'll change your mind on that one soon enough, dude."

Sam pulled a face, then smiled. "What's our house like?"

Dean looked at Sam, wondering how best to soften the blow.

"I'm not going to lie, Sammy. We travel around a lot."

"Like now?"

"Yeah, just like now."

"Oh."

Dean sighed and walked away. Trying to make their lives sound appealing to a ten-year-old wasn't the easiest thing in the world.

"It's never boring Sam. I can promise you that."

"What about...the pain you were talking about?"

Dean frowned, searching for words.

"Sam...no matter what... we look out for each other. Some things... you don't need to know about yet. You're just going to have to trust me."

Sam nodded, his eyes on the floor.

"Are you ready to speak to Uncle Cas? He's going to help us make you big again?"

"I think so."

"Scared?"

"No!"

Dean smiled at him, eyebrow raised.

"Maybe a little" Sam said.

"It will be okay. I promise."

"Will you stay with me?"

Dean looked at Sam. His eyes so young, so scared.

"Always."


	10. This is killing me

_Just a small update for you- it will be longer next time!_

_Thank you for the reviews- what a lovely bunch of people you are!_

_I do not own Supernatural_

* * *

"Cas! Be nice."

"I don't understand. I'm always nice."

"Yes but..." Dean looked into the room and lowered his voice. "Remember he's just a kid."

"He's Sam."

"No."

"Yes."

"Well, yes... but you don't know this Sam. I do. He's young. He's sensitive. Got it?"

Cas nodded.

"Okay." Dean stood up and walked to the door. "Sammy?"

Sam's face appeared at the door. "Yeah?"

"You ready?"

Sam gave a small nod.

"Okay, bud. Come in here with us."

* * *

Sam walked in, glanced shyly at Cas and sat beside Dean.

"Hello, Sam."

"Hi" Sam gave a small smile towards Castiel.

Cas sat opposite Sam, Sam shifted a bit closer to Dean who put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Okay, Sam. This is a simple procedure. All you have to do is stretch out your hand, I'll nick it for some blood..." Cas produced a knife and Sam flinched. Dean's grip on his shoulder tightened. "Once you do that, that's it" Cas continued "I'll do the rest. Then you just go to bed- everything will be fine in the morning. You'll be the Sam you should be. Okay?"

Sam looked at Dean, who squeezed his shoulder.

"Will...will I remember this?" Sam asked in a small voice.

Cas shrugged. "I don't know. I suppose we'll find out tomorrow."

Sam nodded.

"Ready?"

Sam held out his right hand. It was visibly shaking. He put his left one into Dean's.

"Wait!" Dean yelled.

Both looked at Dean and Dean turned to Sam.

"You understand...that this has to happen, Sammy? You know that I'm helping you...that I will always be there for you? No matter how old you are? No matter how big you get?"

Sam looked at him, tears in his eyes.

"Please, Sam...don't make this hard...this is killing me..."

Tears fell down Sam's cheeks

"I'm scared, Dean. I don't want to be grown-up. Please...I just want it to be how it was before...I'm so, so scared."


	11. The Inevitable

_Thank you lovely reviewers! _

_It certainly isn't my best piece of writing but I'm so glad you are enjoying it._

_I do not own Supernatural_

* * *

Dean looked into Sam's eyes. He pulled him into a hug, picked him up and held him in his arms.

"Cas give us a minute."

"Dean...we have twenty minutes. Twenty minutes or Sam will be..."

"Okay. _Okay. _I said one minute."

Castiel nodded reluctantly and left the room.

Dean sat down, Sam still sobbing in his arms.

"Sammy..."

"Dean, I'm scared..."

"I know, bud. I know. Me too."

"I have to do it though, don't I?"

Dean hesitated.

"Yeah, Sam."

"Nothing will be the same though."

Dean gently pulled Sam away so that he was still sat on his lap but Dean could see his brother's face.

"_I'll _still be here, Sam. I promise. Always. I know what's coming...I know what we have to face. I will be there, Sammy. Trust me. Like I trust you."

Sam's eyes were wide but he nodded. Dean's throat tightened.

"I love you, Sammy."

"I love you, Dean."

Dean gave Sam a tight hug and then a watery smile.

"So...I'm guessing we have eighteen minutes left...how about we ditch Castiel for a few minutes...have a bit of fun, while we still can?"

Sam smiled back at him.

Dean had missed that smile.

* * *

"Got your girly ring!"

"Hey!" Dean laughed but ran after his younger brother. "Give it back!"

"You have to catch me first!"

Sam ran, his laughter following him as Dean ran after him.

Dean jumped on him. Sam squirmed as Dean tickled him.

"Give it back, give it back!"

"Nooooo" Sam laughed as he moved from side to side. "It's mine now!"

"One last chance...or I tickle your feet!"

"Okay, okay!" Sam held out the ring. "Have it back, girly!"

Dean grinned.

"Na, tell you what, Squirt. You wear it...while Cas does the procedure...you give it me back tomorrow, yeah, bud?"

Sam's face fell slightly as the talk turned towards the reality that Dean had kept at bay for a few precious minutes.

"Dean!" Cas appeared before them, looking concerned. "Nine minutes!"

"Okay, okay." Dean turned to Sam, taking his hand.

"Let's go."

* * *

"It will just be a pinch, Sam. It won't hurt anymore than a bee sting."

Sam closed his eyes as Cas nicked his skin, carefully collecting a few drops of blood.

"All done."

"Really?"

"Yep" Dean ruffled Sam's hair. "Nice one, little bro."

"Now what?"

"Now...you go to bed. Don't worry." Dean winked at Sam. "I'll be here when you wake up."

Sam jumped off the table, looking back over his shoulder.

"Goodnight, Castiel"

"Goodnight, Sam. I'll get this sorted now. It won't take me long."

Sam stopped and looked at his brother. "Goodnight, Dean."

"Goodnight, bro. I'll check in on you later. Look after my ring. I want it back in the morning"

Sam padded off, clutching the ring, barefoot out of the room. Dean tried to keep the memory, the trousers slightly too big, his hair falling over his eyes. The little boy. His baby brother. If only he could stop the inevitable. Stop the pain. His eyes didn't leave him until he had disappeared up the stairs.

"Right." Dean yelled briskly, "I need a beer."

Cas pretended not to notice the tear falling from his eye.


	12. A Good Brother

_Thank you again for the reviews :) _

_Short update... but please stick around for the epilogue which I'll post when I get a chance._

_I do not own Supernatural_

* * *

"Done."

Dean glanced up as Castiel sat beside him.

"All fine?"

Castiel nodded. "All fine."

"Good." Dean took a long drink from the bottle. He had pealed the label off so Castiel could not see what it contained. Judging from Dean's eyes, something strong.

"Are you okay?"

Dean nodded through his gulp.

"Me? Yeah, sure."

"You know that you did the right thing."

"Sure."

"You did. Sam couldn't stay being a kid. It wouldn't be fair."

"What and Hell is? Pain is? Dying is?"

Cas remained silent. Dean took another drink.

"Thanks though, Cas. For, you know..."

Castiel shrugged. "Don't mention it."

"He'll be okay...Sam?"

"He'll be fine."

Dean gave a wry smile. "Your definition of fine never fills me with much hope." He rose out of his seat.

"Dean?"

"Hmm?"

"Dean...you're a good brother. Don't forget that."

* * *

Sam awoke with a start.

The first thing he noticed, embarrassingly, was the ripped pajama top that looked somewhat like a crop top that he was wearing- and the matching shorts with it.

Relief flooded him. He lay still for a few moments trying to process the last day.

Overwhelmed, he reached for his own, 'normal age' clothes.

* * *

Dean sat bolt upright.

How he had even managed to sleep was beyond him. His mind was going at a hundred miles and hour.

It probably explained the strange dreams though.

He rose up, weary from over drinking and lack of sleep. Last time he had checked on Sam he'd still been a kid, lying on top of the covers, arms sprawled under his pillows. He was scared to look this morning.

He didn't know what he wanted to find.

Ruffling his hair and throwing a shirt on, Dean made his way to Sam's room.

He swallowed hard and knocked twice.

"Sam?" Dean said uncertainly.

There was a pause and the door opened.

Sam, tall and...well, a man stood before him.

Sam gave a shy smile.

"Hey, Dean."

"Hey."

Dean looked at the floor and cleared his throat.

"Dean?"

Dean looked up and Sam wordlessly put his arms around him.


	13. Epilogue

_Hope you are all having a lovely Christmas! Thank you for the reviews and thanks for following the story until the end :)_

_I do not own Supernatural_

* * *

"Beer?"

"A bit early isn't it Dean?"

"Considering the circumstances..."

"I'd love one."

"Or perhaps you'd prefer strawberry milk? Or a lemonade..."

"Right. Yeah, genius, I see what you're doing..."

"I can go to the shop for some cookies?"

"Drop it."

"Only when it becomes not funny."

* * *

It was the kind of day that Dean used to love. Rain, icy roads and the wind sounding like it might tear down the building. As a kid it meant a roaring fire, snacks, films and maybe, just maybe, their Dad would be unable to get off the roads...and would stay in with them.

Like a normal family.

"Another beer?"

Dean handed Sam the empty bottle. "Yeah, sure."

Apart from the joking that morning, neither of the brothers had mentioned the previous day. It felt odd, like they were going through the motions. Cas had disappeared, clearly thinking the brothers needed space to talk. So far though, they had done nothing but tiptoe around each other, gaze at the TV and very quickly get down the beer supply.

"So". Dean looked sideways at Sam. "Feeling okay?"

Sam shrugged. "Yeah"

"No..side effects?"

Sam raised an eyebrow, "No."

"Good...Cas didn't say if there would be any."

"No. I just feel... a bit tired."

"Good. That's good."

There was a pause long enough to feel awkward and Dean finally let out a loud sigh.

"Okay, Sam. Shall we talk about it or not?"

Sam stared at the TV.

"I'm trying."

"You're trying?"

"Yes. There's not exactly a handbook for this one."

"Well" Dean folded his arms. "What exactly are you worried about?"

"Nothing"

"Really?

"Really."

Dean let out a sigh. "So..."

"So... maybe I just feel... I don't even _know"_

"Well, that gives me a lot to go on, Sam."

"I just...seeing how you were with me. You were..."

"What?"

"Great. You were... great."

Dean shifted uncomfortably as Sam continued.

"I guess I kind of took it all for granted these years...but...you were more of a Dad than Dad ever was..."

"Oh come on..."

"No, Dean. You were. You are."

Dean shrugged. "It was nothing. You were a good kid."

"I was a pain in the ass."

"Not all the time." Dean gave a small smile. "You're a bigger pain now!"

"Ha."

"Doesn't mean I'll stop looking out for you...just because you're too big to carry!"

Sam laughed.

Dean slapped Sam on the back. "You know what bro? As lovely, special and sweet as that thing was yesterday... don't do it again in a hurry."

"I'm not planning to...but why?"

"Because it was frickin' weird!"


End file.
